I Have to talk myself and my mind out of its obsessive thinking on a daily basis.
This is a frustrating walk.
I have to soothe myself gently when I hear an airplane or helicopter too loud when it’s flying over the house.
I don’t know why. I don’t care why at this point. My anxiety shows up like a neighbor. So I walk this little fella around like I’m his map around the city. Cause he’s gotta watch me if he intends to pop up like he does. And I decide most of the time to keep moving while he hangs onto my leg.
It’s weird. Sometimes I have days that are stellar. What I mean is that on those days I feel like I am experiencing what it’s like to not be anxious. On other days I feel like I am flipping back down the anxiety hill as viciously as possible. And when these different intensities happen within a day of each other;It gets me down.
“The humanity of it”
In my book, Butterscotch Blossom, I write about how my intervals in my mental health journey help me have humility. I relate the heavy, real feeling of doom that I get in an anxiety spell to the state of mind that a lot of other humans have to sit in.
The mental health world view is master crafted. It’s different. I call us, in the mental health community, people who are glowing in the dark. Cause that’s how unique we are.
I moved to Texas last July, and am traveling back to Tennessee tomorrow.
My family’s been so supportive of me during my mental health journey. I feel good. 💜